Le monde est fou!

This morning, instead of sipping my coffee here in the ward, I woke up to a message from someone I knew in the past.

She wrote a heartfelt note saying she had been following me for a long time and debated whether or not to tell me this: she feels I'm desperately seeking attention and trying too hard to be cool. She suggested that, instead of talking about having bipolar disorder, I should spend more time with my son.

My aunt adds fuel to the fire by giving me books on positive thinking and telling me I'm a drama queen wasting my life. “Thanks, auntie,” for trying to snap me out of it. I want to be present, and I know life goes by quickly.

I must admit that both messages triggered me.

I also thought I made a friend, a Romanian woman who lives on the corner of my street with a child the same age as mine. Our kids introduced us while playing, and I was thrilled to discover a Romanian family nearby. When I met her, I was in a manic state, so I enthusiastically told her how happy I was that she lived so close. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of sharing that I have bipolar disorder, and ever since, things have been different.

Now, when she sees me on the street, she turns her head away. It hurt!

So, what have I learned from these experiences? If someone is bothered by my openness, that's their issue. If someone treats me like I'm crazy or belittles me because of it, they don't need to be in my life. It's harder with family, but with strangers? It has to become a new practice.

On the other hand, my DM is full of messages from people who tell me not to share publicly but that they suffer from the same issues. They say they wish they were as brave as I am, or they thank me for my writings because it helps them feel seen and not alone.

Even if I'm a little sad today, dealing with a lack of education and narrow-mindedness, sharing my journey with mental health is therapeutic for me. The world needs this conversation.

Should I stop doing something good because of a bunch of insensitive people? I don't think so.